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Tension- How do I determine what the proper place is?

I watched the video on "The One mental trick to build muscle" and I have to say that makes so much sense to me. To bad I didn't see that before I worked out tonight. In the video he talked about push ups which is what I have been doing for my shoulders, I will definitely do them again tomorrow and try what he says. My question is (bare with me I am a bit of a beginner) how do you know which way to go for proper tension? Had he not said this could work more efficiently pushing in instead of out I would not have known. I never would have thought it could work my back because I was told this works my shoulder (Obviously there was more to it) So how can I tell which way trial and error?

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